Are You Weary of the Words You Use?
And a special announcement.
Hello!
I worry about the words we use to describe ourselves. They have a way of being true. One of them is that given a topic, I can write a lot—and when I say a lot, I mean a lot. So I’m going to try (read: attempt with every fibre of my being) to end this piece in 500 words.
One of the other things I used to say about myself was “I’m useless in the kitchen.” Sometimes I’d even add the adage “Like a bull in a china shop” which is weird because I wasn’t exactly clumsy. My uselessness in the kitchen was derived from the fact that I did not know how to utilise a kitchen for its core purpose: cooking. All my life, I’ve been doing the eating bit but never the cooking bit. When I’d stand next to someone cooking, the whole process went over my head and when things were on the stove over a fire, the transformation from the raw material to the end product felt like some secret alchemy that I was never made privy too.
Also, being a son with a doting mother, both raised in the patriarchal society in India, it was easy to hide behind “I’m useless in the kitchen.”
But in London, those excuses do not matter. There is no mother here to feed me. There are no cooks who are going to come at a scheduled time to prepare the meals for the day. My partner, who is a fabulous cook, must not shoulder the burden of feeding me; food is a shared love. It was time for me to shed “I’m useless in the kitchen” and actually cook.
The best way to learn how to swim is to be thrown into the water. For me, it’s been the same for cooking. When the stomach growls, and the bank account digits keep getting lower and lower, you have no choice but to stand before the stove and figure out the rules of this secret alchemy.
Lately, if you browse through my google search history, it’s all “How to cook…” I’m in no way saying I’ve turned into a great cook, but I do make some edible stuff. In the process, I’ve learnt to make a few dishes that I can say with confidence, I know how to make. They are a few and those who have eaten them do say they are pretty decent.
But herein lies the trap of words. When I kept repeating “There are a few dishes I can make” those are the only few dishes that I keep making. I rarely venture out of these and keep trying to fit my eating schedule around them. Not good. Not healthy. So I’m careful not to say “I cook a few dishes.” Instead I say, “I can cook.” In my head I add somewhat and smile at myself. Words have a way of bouncing around in there.
Maybe if we can identify the stories we tell about ourself, we’ll stop falling into the trap of our words, be subject to only them, and break out and add more words to who we really are. Like this letter, which is only 535 words long.
Major Update
In 2020, I’d received the second prize in a writing competition. I hadn’t expected it and the story I’d submitted had been sitting in my virtual drawer for a long time before I dusted it out, tweaked a fair few things, re-wrote the ending and sent it on its way. I guess, somewhere it found its own home and it’s published now in the first anthology by The Written Circle. It has many stories, and if you’re interested in reading it alongside them all, you can purchase a copy here.
It’s been a little over two years since I started The Owler. In 2020 during the pandemic, it began as a way for me to recommend things to you: movies, TV shows, books, games, music and everything else in between. But lately, I’ve been re-imagining the scope of this newsletter. I focus far little on the recommendations than I do on the letter itself. It’s become a space for self expression more than anything else. In the spirit of that, I thought the time was right to reimagine it. I’m proud to present that this newsletter will change to Missives From An Island starting January 2023.
What does this mean?
This newsletter will continue to remain free and deliver to your inbox on every 30th. No change there.
I may add a paid tier to the newsletter where I go into more details on writing, talk more about the subjects I’m learning here at my MA in Creative Writing and write about other aspects related to the craft of story.
While I’ll continue to recommend things in my monthly newsletter, there will be a lot more detailed recommendations and larger lists within the paid tier.
The paid tier is also a space I want to create where I collaborate with other writers.
Request: I’m still ideating on the shape of the newsletter and I’d love to hear your inputs. Could you please spare a couple of minutes and fill out this survey form?
Thank you!
Until next month, which will be the last of The Owler
— Akshay
You’re reading a newsletter by Akshay Gajria. This newsletter is delivered to your inbox on the 30th of every month. You can also find him on Twitter, Instagram and Medium. If you found what you read helpful, you can consider tipping him by buying a cup of tea (or three) here or buying his ebook (linked below). You can discover his work at akshaygajria.com
